Sportsweak: Keep Watching, Ladies!

Women's Football
Women: “We just want to be taken seriously.”
Tam Cowan: “Burn the lot of ’em.”

A major breakthrough in the sexism row as the magic formula for gender equality is defined by the roles of women in the field of sports.

In reaction to the recent suspension of BBC Scotland and Daily Record Journalist, Tam Cowan, for claiming in his regular column that women’s football is a “turgid spectacle” and that “…fans must agree it’s time to chuck it.”, the sexism in certain sports debate has reared its head again.

Everywhere we look in sports broadcasting and journalism there are examples of fine quality in the likes of Claire Balding, Kirsty Gallagher and Clare Tomlinson.  As you would expect, you also get ones that are “…sticking microphones up the noses of hulking prop forwards and 6ft 6in centre halves, reading out questions that a male producer has written for them.”

But then we come to playing the game itself.   It seems that the general consensus of opinion is that the women’s game is seriously below-par.  Whereas lots of men enjoy becoming passionate about the male game, the same is not true of women.  The result is that the aforementioned journalistic talents are the ones that rise to the fore – their ability to watch men is unparalleled.

This is where we come to the significant breaking through in bridging the gender divide.  It becomes clear that women’s roles within society are best served observing men doing the literal work.  Not only is this the only way they can measure up to their male counterparts, but they will be admiring for doing so also.  Window cleaners will try that extra bit hard on the streaks to impress an observing female, politicians will put the right numbers in their expenses if a lady is gazing over their shoulder at their “workings-out” and catholic priests may touch a few less pre-pubescents if they’re being critiqued by a confident, strong yet oddly feminine lesbian.

So perhaps Tam Cowan’s suggestion of a ritualistic arson attack to cleanse the world where women are allowed to participate in a human pursuit is not so nutty after all?