Christmas is a time of death.

“Look long at your Christmas tree, it may be the last one that you see

Thank God for your family, cause someday they’ll be dead”

Trey Parker, Dead Dead Dead

2013 has been a year of death. Maggie, Madiba, Ronnie Biggs & Lou Reed have all pushed up the daisies this year but the Mail haven’t had their hands in any of them. Well maybe a little bit with Mandela but let’s not talk about that!

Christmas is a Time of Death (Flickr / gwdesq)
Christmas is a Time of Death (Flickr / gwdesq)

Christmas is also a time of giving and nobody can accuse Our Mail of being a scrooge. Not even Ed Miliband and his dead, socialist Dad can accuse Our Mail of being a grinch. They’re a very giving bunch. Not even that pouting tart Ruby Tandoh from Great British Bake Off can accuse Our Mail of being a Humbug. They’re all about presents. Not even Immigrants and Terrorists with their job-grabbing hands and their benefit-soaked lifestyles can accuse Our Mail of being unseasonal. They’re all about forgiveness.

A Very Maily Christmas (Flickr/ tomylees)
A Very Maily Christmas (Flickr/ tomylees)

2013 has been a good year for Moral Outrage for Our Mail, some of it from the paper itself and some directed at it. Whether it was Moral Outrage at Muslims beheading soldiers in the street or even worse Jack Whitehall taking jibes at our beloved Queen Liz, The Mail fought the evil lefties. Whether it was the world attacking Our Mail for exposing David & Ed’s Dad as a pipe smoking commie or jumped up satirists trying to make fun of Mail Online with their weak attacks on Mail News, Sports & Showbiz, The Mail stood its ground.

So this Christmas here’s an idea for a Daily Mail special present.

Some avid readers might remember earlier this year, Richard LittleJohn used his gilded perch to heap scorn and derision on a Transgender teacher, Lucy Meadows. Thanks to Dick’s article this young lady man thing was driven to commit suicide, which means there’s one less midget loving freak who’ll be using the pointless transgender toilets at Sussex University. So this Christmas how about giving you a chance to vote for a newsworthy target who Rich LittleJohn, Baz Bambigoye and all the other writers can attack and hopefully force another left-wing, eco-friendly, homo-loving, feminist to top themselves.

Use the voting buttons below and have a very Maily Christmas!


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